We all have pet hates, I guess. Some don’t like smoking, or bureaucrats, dogs, cats, animal lovers/haters and a thousand other things.
My pet hate? Pushy people – women in particular. I say women in particular because it somehow degrades them in my eyes. I love women – well, most women – but I particularly admire strong, self sufficient women who have got their lives together and know how to live without being dependent on another. Pushy women, though, seem to become shrill and nagging and that’s not being strong, or self sufficient – that (whatever they think) is being “needy” and I hate it.
I suppose it’s partly that I love the idea of equality in all and we’re all much less likely to try to dominate others if we are comfortable with ourselves and our own company at times without needing another to validate our existence. Needy, pushy people (and women in particular) are usually so insecure that they over compensate by being self centred to the point of being pig-headed and can rarely see, or even tolerate another’s point of view.
When it comes to relationships and a woman says, “I want this, or that NOW!” or “I need to know exactly where I stand NOW!” it’s usually due to her own insecurity and an inability to accept others as they are and simply enjoy both their commonality as well as their differences.
The sad thing is: such people almost inevitably fail to find a partner who fulfils all, or even most, of their requirements and always seem to end their days in lonely solitude – even if they’re living with someone at the time.
Tags: Culture & Relationships, Feminism, Lipstick Feminism, Personal, personal relationships, sexual relationships, western culture, women, womens rights
30/12/2008 at 22:07
Well it applies to both sexes but more to women you are right. Its years of conditioning tht we cannot survive without a man at our side in the way the fairytales tell us we should. I do not like that kind of desperation. Equality? Well in theory it sounds alright but women have a long way to go. A long way. Its so ingrained that we dont see it anymore.
To be honest, we just need to be more tolerant of each other I guess. If a guy hates that about a woman he should see it as a red flag and run. Preferably before he has 4 kids with her and a mortgage, ok? Having a family has a nasty habit of taking away a womens independence surprisingly…….
I like your last paragraph and its true. Unless we are comfortable with ourselves its never going to work with anyone else. Healthy egos are what its about – tough to find really. I have had to learn a lot about this but confident women also have to be mindful of men who are leeches too. Its works all ways.
Have a great New Year and it is going to be a great one!!!!! I am more than optimistic. I am choosing to be happy this year, regardless!!!
31/12/2008 at 02:19
@Lilly: Yup. I guess that’s all part of it and pretty much what I was saying – independence for and from everyone and the willingness to enjoy it. Plus celebrate and accept our differences rather than complaining about them.
Happy New Year to you too and I hope you manage your happiness. great attitude!